Clancy Condoms
$28.00
When you need protection from life's most permanent consequences, reach for Clancy. This shirt celebrates the only guaranteed method of maintaining your child-free lifestyle—because some trials should never happen, and some verdicts should definitely be "not guilty" of procreation.
Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton that's softer than an alibi and more reliable than a defense attorney, this tee offers the right amount of stretch for when you need to make a quick exit. The pre-shrunk fabric ensures your "NO KIDS" guarantee won't shrink under pressure, unlike certain legal strategies.
Perfect for true crime enthusiasts with a dark sense of humor, contraception advocates, or anyone who believes the best offense is a good defense. Side-seamed construction keeps everything contained, and shoulder-to-shoulder taping provides structural integrity—because when it comes to avoiding 18+ year commitments, you need something that holds up under scrutiny.
Warning: Wearing this shirt does not constitute actual birth control, but it will definitely prevent unwanted conversations about when you're having children.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, unlike your excuses for not showing up to jury duty.
As Seen In
Inglorious Bastards
As Seen In
Oceans Eleven
